My head is swimming; I have a lot of thoughts jumbled together.
I want to be better. I want to be a better wife. I want to be better at taking care of my body. I want to be a better church member. Overall, just a better person. I feel like I've gotten so lazy, almost addicted to being lazy. I go to work--I come home--I veg in front of the computer or TV--I go to sleep. Repeat. My prayers are insincere. My scripture study is becoming alarmingly absent. This is, in no way, the person I want to be; letting life pass me by while I waste my time in front of a screen. I had (have) big dreams and I'm on my way to not accomplishing any of them. Scarier--I can feel myself digressing as a person.
I miss singing. I miss that part of my identity. Its weird to me that some people that I've recently met don't know about my passion...
How am I supposed to do it all? Fulfill my music dream and still be practical? Fight the laziness and become stronger?
As you can see...I am at war with myself and I don't know where to start. I want peace and confirmation that I'm doing the right thing. Am I supposed to be a Social Work major? Am I completely going to loose my voice due to neglect?
The obvious answers come to mind. Pray. Go to the temple. Read the scriptures.... I know what I'm supposed to do, I'm just scared of the answers.
What I've learned recently is, even though it may be not what we want to hear, Heavenly Father knows exactly what is the best decision for us. Sometimes it may be hard, and at the moment not what we want for ourselves. But I know with absolute certainty that if we put our full faith in Him, and let Him guide and direct our life, we will go exactly where we need to go, and be the people we need to be. Ask God to take your life into His hands and lead you where you're supposed to go. If you follow what He commands He will take care of you. That's the promise that He makes to us.
ReplyDeleteI know at this point in our lives it's hard to figure out what we need to be doing, going to school, have kids, buy a house etc. but if we have faith, the best choice will be placed before us.
I hope that helps a little. I know from my experiences lately that it has helped me.
I have found myself in the same thoughts this passed week! Now that school is over I thought I would have so much more time with just work on my plate! I do have more time, but when I get home from work I am exhausted that I end up doing nothing but lay around until bed time!! It's frustrating because there are so many things I WANT to do with that time but never end up doing them. Basically I have no answers, but feel the same way. haha Good luck!!
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