just another post about the new year

One thing that I learned in the last last year was that the mentality of New Year Resolutions is a set-up for failure: the idea that you set goals only at the first of the year is bogus. 

Last year, I set all my goals on January 1-one for each month of the year. It seemed reasonable, even attainable, however, I didn't anticipate the changes that would occur within me over time. When March rolled around the goals that had seemed perfect for me seemed irrelevant and, with that, my resolutions were out the window. 

When fall semester started, I realized what had happened and tried something new: each Sunday I would sit down and set one or two weekly goals (relating to my larger long term goals). I checked in throughout the week to ensure progress and to make sure I was on track. I had more success with this method in the last 4 months than I have in 15+ years of resolutions. With my week-by-week system, my goals were able to evolve with me.

With that being said...

I believe in having big dreams and, with them, big goals.

I love new beginnings and clean slates.

I hope that I am not coming across preachy or self-righteous, that is not my intent. I just wish that I would have figured this out sooner, and to be honest, I am proud of my little system. 

I wish everyone the best of luck in their New Year's endeavors! Let's make 2013 a year to remember!

Then&Now

Yesterday I was writing in my journal and I started thinking about where Chris and I were this time last year. It was amazing to me how far we have come! I just wanted to share two things that have improved in the last year.

-In late November, I hit my heaviest weight. I had no self-esteem and no motivation to fix it. I remember only wanting to wear yoga pants and a big sweatshirt and wearing that as much as I could get away with it. I would never go to the gym on my own...Chris would have to drag me with him. Even if he got me there, I didn't really work out. I'd walk on the treadmill and pretend to do some crunches or something, and then go bug Chris about 30 minutes later to leave. I wanted big changes, but I wasn't willing to do any sort of real work to make it happen.

Now, the number on the scale hasn't gone down as drastically as I would like, but my attitude is 100% different. I prefer to go to the gym on my own, for some reason, that's when I can work the hardest. I have fitness goals that I am actually working towards. I asked for workout clothes for my birthday and for Christmas. I'm not looking for a quick fix, I want a lifestyle change!

-Chris and I were unemployed for our 1st semester married. It was rough. I remember that we decided that we wouldn't really exchange gifts, get a tree, or do anything that would cost extra money for Christmas. I am grateful that we went through that. It helps us to be grateful for our jobs and our complete financial independence.  

We now own both our cars and pay for our own insurance. We pay for my cell phone. We both have jobs we really enjoy. We are able to save money! I am really looking forward to giving the gifts I have planned for Chris!

It is fun to look back and see big changes and improvements. It is good motivation for me to have 2013 be a more drastic difference than 2012 is. 

Climb Away

"If you are on the right path, it will always be uphill."

This makes me feel like less of a wuss when I curl up in a ball and cry when I get home from school. 

"Act, and I will strengthen you. Speak, and I will make your words strong. Awake and study, and I will inspire you."

Thanks to my Stats professor who gave us this awesome (busywork) assignment. Read the talk here.

Love Always, Monday

Mondays are hard. Let's be honest, we've all whined about it on Facebook.
I always felt picked on by Mondays, getting back into the weekly routine always felt like a slap in the face. Normally, my peak productivity kicks in about Wednesday-Thursdayish....just in time for the weekend to roll around and get me all out-of-whack again.
October 22 was nothing special- I went to the gym, worked, and did assignments. I was deliriously happy....and strangely productive.
I realized that I had made an accidental attitude change. I had been less than pleased with the past few weeks; I was excited to have a clean slate....a new week to be successful. I was driven by an obsession to improve and make this week better. 
I realized today that I had made it to the gym every morning this week at 5ish am.

Proof

(Ok, it's more like 5:30--but I wake up at 5!)

I made some diet changes and actually stuck to them and our apartment always seemed to be clean. Monday made a difference.

Snow didn't even phase me, I was secretly excited.

The cherry on top of my week? Hearing Chris express how proud of me he is.

Life is good!

Side Note: Anytime Fitness is great! I highly recommend it if you're looking for a gym membership.

Maturity

This week, I have learned a little more about maturity.

The mature handle situations calmly and rationally.
The mature do not let "in the moment" emotions run the show.
The mature know when to take a step back and reassess.
The mature think outside of themselves.
The mature are able to recognize when they are wrong.

I appreciate those willing to be patient with me as I learn this life lesson and (hopefully) better myself as a person. Just when I think that I have everything all figured out....nope.

H8RS

[I try not to get too personal or to heavy here. I want this to be an uplifting, happy place. However, for those of you who get real on your blogs; I applaud you, I admire you, I appreciate you. Its one thing to create a corner in cyberspace where you can portray yourself and your life any way you want; perfection, bliss, and all other forms of loveliness. It is quite another to be vulnerable and share your shortcomings, imperfections, flaws, and heartbreaks. I think that having a balance of the two is what makes a great blog, a blog that hundreds or thousands of people want to read. They can relate to you, share in your triumphs, hurt for you, and love you in the sincerest form.]

Awhile ago I posted an article here and Facebook that I had read and enjoyed and wanted share. I didn't offer much commentary because it featured a fairly controversial issue and the last thing I wanted was a debate to ensue on my wall. Well, I get an e-mail from an old Westminster roommate asking my opinion on the article. I knew I was getting set up for some sort of confrontation, so I kept it as vague and general as I could. A few lines were exchanged and then wham!, I was hit with a variety of insults, attacks on my character, and a lot of untrue assumptions about my beliefs. It was so upsetting, not only because I hate confrontation but also because I felt like it was completely unnecessary and undeserved.
Now, this may seem trivial and I know this happens every day. But, this stuff seriously affects me. I just hang onto it and let it eat away at me. Maybe its a woman thing, I could blame it on the hormones, but most of the time, it just feels like a Melissa thing.
Anyway, so I was sitting at my desk totally consumed by the words from this email. What bothered me the most was that this person doesn't know me. Like, at all! It was totally infuriating. But, then, why would it bother me so much if it was so untrue? As I sat there, fuming, my husband noticed my distress. I told him what had happened, and this was his response:

"Miss, she is an alligator. If you were walking along a river and an alligator snapped at you, would you walk up to it and try to reason with it or make it understand? Would you give it a hug? No! You would run the other direction and never look back."

Why would I allow such a toxic presence in my life? Why would I even consider letting this bother me? Easier said then done, yes!- but it makes sense. I want to surround myself with people who care about me. People who, if they do happen to have a problem with me or my actions, are kind in their approach and who have my best interest in mind. I would rather have 5 great friends than 500 not-so great ones; wasting time on stupid things like this is just unnecessary heartache. 

I know this post is reaching novel proportions, so I'll wrap it up. I just wanted to thank all of you who truly are those great friends; offering love, support, and understanding. I hope I do the same for you.