My Apologies

My apologies to anyone who follows me on pinterest. I'm sure the floods of running advice, diets, and fitspirational images are getting slightly annoying.

The truth is, my motivation came to a screeching halt mid-January. It was cold. I was feeling fat and useless-a horrid combination. This resulted in too much TV, not enough homework, excessive snacking, and no progress on the scale or with the measuring tape.

Its quite frustrating when you feel like you are putting in adequate effort and nothing is happening. I was going to the gym every morning at 5am...that should be enough, right?

Welp, not so much if you end up binge eating around 4pm and resort to watching Friends re-runs for the rest of the night.

So, I'm trying to recommit myself and put in the effort in other places. 5am workouts don't do much if you eat them away. Trying to get a 4.0 isn't going to happen in front of the TV.

Even if I tread water for the next few months-not making any significant progress...it is still 100% better than watching the scale climb and the grades drop.

Drops of Awesomeness

 My inspiration comes from a post on Daring Young Mom. You can find it here.

The problem with having goals and dreams is that you are forced to look inward and figure out what areas you struggle most in. What a hard thing to do! Then, as soon as you start to attempt to make progress you realize the difficulties you are facing and it is easy to turn into a Negative Nancy-putting yourself down without even realizing it. Our efforts are never enough, our mistakes are too detrimental.

Oh. You just folded the laundry that has been sitting in the dryer for 4 days? Wife of the year!

You're actually saying a sincere prayer....When was the last time this happened?

An 85% on that super easy assignment?! You're never going to get a scholarship at this rate. 

Pasta with Alfredo sauce?!!!? Why even try?

The list goes on, and on.

In the past 2 weeks I have realized that overcoming that inner voice is more challenging than any goal you could set for yourself. It talks you out of workouts and into pasta; out of homework and into Facebook....and then blames you.

I don't think that negative self-talk can ever be completely distinguished...we are conditioned to be critical of ourselves and others. However, we can make it quieter and less frequent.

The laundry is folded and put away!

I strengthened my relationship with God today.

I am so lucky to be getting an education. I can study harder next time.

I really enjoyed that pasta. I can make up for it tomorrow at the gym. 

Luckily, I happen to be married to the most positive/optimistic man I have ever met. It helps a lot to have someone who will celebrate your little triumphs, go to the gym with you at 5am, appreciate the clean kitchen and folded laundry...I am so lucky to have such a supportive person to help me on my quest for self improvement for the rest of my life. Single ladies-add it to your list, it is invaluable in a spouse.

 

Workout Essentials

I realize that I'm not fitness expert, but I've discovered some treasures in the past 6 months that are too good not to share.

1. Bowflex watch: I use it to time my runs, circuits, and to keep track of the time I've actually spent working out. The heart rate monitor also comes in handy. They are super cheap at Big 5.
2. Skullcandy Earbuds: The best of the best- they never fall out and the sound quality is awesome.
3. iPod Shuffle: Simple and to the point- it doesn't get in the way and I can clip it just about anywhere.
4. Asics: Best arch support around- worth the money, especially if you want to avoid injury
5. Fish Oil Pills: Helps with weight loss and is good for your skin and hair. Note: Eat with breakfast or you'll have fish burps all day long.
6. Under Armour Pants: Feel like yoga pants in the most flattering way. I am 100% converted to UA producs.
7. LivFit Jacket: Functional and the color blocking is also flattering. Keeps you warm outside and col inside.
8. LivFit Bra: Lots of straps=Lots of support. Need I say more?
9. BSN N.O.Xpode: I am new to the supplement world, but I get great workouts when I take this. (Its safe, my hubby talked to his nutrition professor about it.)
10. VS Water Bottle: I love these water bottles because they are huge. I can fit ice, lemon, and plenty of water to last me awhile.
11. Padded Running Socks: Protects your feet  (especially your arches) and they're super comfy!

My Not-So Resolutions

just another post about the new year

One thing that I learned in the last last year was that the mentality of New Year Resolutions is a set-up for failure: the idea that you set goals only at the first of the year is bogus. 

Last year, I set all my goals on January 1-one for each month of the year. It seemed reasonable, even attainable, however, I didn't anticipate the changes that would occur within me over time. When March rolled around the goals that had seemed perfect for me seemed irrelevant and, with that, my resolutions were out the window. 

When fall semester started, I realized what had happened and tried something new: each Sunday I would sit down and set one or two weekly goals (relating to my larger long term goals). I checked in throughout the week to ensure progress and to make sure I was on track. I had more success with this method in the last 4 months than I have in 15+ years of resolutions. With my week-by-week system, my goals were able to evolve with me.

With that being said...

I believe in having big dreams and, with them, big goals.

I love new beginnings and clean slates.

I hope that I am not coming across preachy or self-righteous, that is not my intent. I just wish that I would have figured this out sooner, and to be honest, I am proud of my little system. 

I wish everyone the best of luck in their New Year's endeavors! Let's make 2013 a year to remember!

Facelift

I am so so so excited about the new look here! The amazingly beautiful and talented Hailey was kind enough to do it for me, which is convenient for me considering I am totally lost when it comes to any sort of graphic design.
Also, my husband is back! It is nice to have him back home with me- even though he was only gone for two days. I am much happier when he is around. 

Anyway, I hope you all are enjoying your weekend!

obvious?

My head is swimming; I have a lot of thoughts jumbled together.

I want to be better. I want to be a better wife. I want to be better at taking care of my body. I want to be a better church member. Overall, just a better person. I feel like I've gotten so lazy, almost addicted to being lazy. I go to work--I come home--I veg in front of the computer or TV--I go to sleep. Repeat. My prayers are insincere. My scripture study is becoming alarmingly absent. This is, in no way, the person I want to be; letting life pass me by while I waste my time in front of a screen.  I had (have) big dreams and I'm on my way to not accomplishing any of them. Scarier--I can feel myself digressing as a person.

I miss singing. I miss that part of my identity. Its weird to me that some people that I've recently met don't know about my passion...

How am I supposed to do it all? Fulfill my music dream and still be practical? Fight the laziness and become stronger?

As you can see...I am at war with myself and I don't know where to start. I want peace and confirmation that I'm doing the right thing. Am I supposed to be a Social Work major? Am I completely going to loose my voice due to neglect?

The obvious answers come to mind. Pray. Go to the temple. Read the scriptures.... I know what I'm supposed to do, I'm just scared of the answers.

"In Love & Loss"

12[in]2012: Getting Back on the Horse

Well, April was such a crazy month- I have to be honest, my goals completely fell by the wayside. Between finishing up my semester at school, juggling 3 different jobs, trying to exercise and eat healthy...I was just swamped. My April goal was to find more time to read...which I actually semi-accomplished. I read books #2 & 3 of the Hunger Games series. :)

Anyway, I am starting afresh this month with my May goal.

I am so excited to get going with this. I used to be so good at this. I would write in my journal every day. When I got married and was all caught up with the wedding, moving, and learning to live with a boy...I got out of the habit.

Being aware of all of the great things going on in life is a great way to make your own happiness; which is a great lesson I learned about this morning. The funny thing, I didn't remember what May goal was this morning. I think that this is a sign.

Happy May!

12[in]2012 Recap: February

Well hello! I cannot believe that February has already come and gone. How is it that a month can drag by and also fly by at the same time? If you remember February was Fitness month. I was successful in becoming more aware of my health and was unsuccessful in meeting my original goals.

-I did well with my soda fast- not perfect- I definitely drank less soda and more water.
-I failed in the exercise area....I probably went less than 5 times last month. Boo.
-I have definitely become more conscious and I have started a food journal and a weight log.

My intervention regarding my suguaraholism came late in the month, but I've already made some big changes. I've been making dinner; real, planned out, healthily balanced meals. I've been working on my diet-one meal at a time. I started a blog to track my progress on this new journey.

Fitness does not end in February, this was just my start for the year. I think that I will always need improvement in this area....a perma-goal!

Now, I'd like to introduce to you....March!

 And this goal couldn't be more timely. This last month I have noticed that productivity and being healthy go hand in hand. Sitting on my butt and watching Netflix all day definitely takes a toll on my eating habits and then causes me stress because I don't get anything done. I think that getting into a routine will help all areas of my life....especially with my new jobs and finals fast approaching.

Happy March!

20 Things...

On Sunday morning I happened upon this article; "20 Things to Start Doing in Your Relationships."
It was such a breath of fresh air and such a good reminder- I had to share!


"Remember, life is kind of like a party.  You invite a lot of people, some leave early, some stay all night, some laugh with you, some laugh at you, and some show up really late.  But in the end, after the fun, there are a few who stay to help you clean up the mess.  And most of the time, they aren’t even the ones who made the mess.  These people are your real friends in life.  They are the ones who matter most. "

12 [in] 2012 Recap: January

For those of you who don't know....I have 12 "mini" resolutions that make up my big one: to be better, to progress as a person. I affectionately call it 12 [in] 2012.
So, January went fairly well. I can't say I was perfect, or even close, but I made progress which is most important to me. I chose this resolution for January because I know that I will never be "perfect" in this area. I can always read longer, pray more meaningfully, and learn more. I got a good start to the new year and am excited to see where I am at the end of the year.

FEBRUARY! I love February....mostly because Valentines Day is my favorite holiday (so, this means that all you "national single awareness" people need to keep your V-Day opinions to yourself). I love that there is an entire day dedicated to showing our love and appreciation to those around us. I know, I know, we should always do it- but we should also be grateful all year long instead of only on Thanksgiving. Same deal. Anyway, come 14 you'll probably find me with some strawberry milk with a heart crazy straw. I'm still devising a plan for my sweetheart...stay tuned.

Anyway, goal for February is fitness. This is also one of those "life long" endeavors and something that I will (probably) always struggle with. I like food to much, and not the good kind; the greasy, fried, buttery, fatty kind. Yep, I know, gross. I really wish that I could be satisfied with a bag of lettuce and some carrots and maybe some hummus (gag), but -for now- not even close. Most of you will know that the following is going to be a major stretch for me....I'm giving up soda for the month of February (including diet Coke). I said farewell this morning with one last glass. This is going to be hard, but I can do hard things.
I also want to focus more on consistent exercise. Up until now, I have exercised in spurts. I'll be really good for 3-5 days and then go through an exercise drought. Boo. I think it would be better for me to exercise 3 times a week consistently then one week out of the month.

So there you have it, February. Wish me luck and hopefully you'll see me a little healthier come 29 days (this year is leap year, didn't you know?).

Huh. I am fairly chatty today.

Discipline

This morning was A&P lab. Chris and I were doing fairly well, due to our last-minute 4 hour cramming session. The professor came over to check on us and Chris mentioned that he was taking (along with A&P) Chemistry and Microbiology. The professor looked surprised. Then, we told him about our 4am escapades as custodians and Chris' possible second job as a maintenance worker for our apartment complex.
"Do you think you have a little too much on your plate?" said Professor.
We all laughed a little as he walked on to the next group, but he was back soon.
"Can I give you some advice?" We nodded. "Discipline will be your only saving grace."
Huh. Not going to lie, that caught me off guard. Yeah, Chris has a really hard schedule, but I didn't really realize how hard it really was or how much studying he will have to do to get the grades to achieve his goals. My schedule isn't as hard by any means, but it is still a stretch for me.
Discipline is something I've been thinking a lot about lately. It is ironic that discipline seems so hard to master, yet, it makes life so much easier. If we would have had discipline and studied one hour each day this week, we would have been able to just review last night and would have gotten to bed early and would have been less tired today....making today easier.

Food for thought.

12 [in] 2012

Firstly...I am going to save you all my spiel about how 88% of all New Year's Resolutions fail each year. Secondly....I am not going to rant about how the "New Year Resolution" method is pretty much a system of failure. Thirdly...I know that there are a lot of posts floating around out there about the New Year and goals and all that jazz- I'm sorry if you are sick of reading them. Personally, I think it's great. I am all for self improvement- it is crucial to growth. I certainly don't want to be the same person forever. Anyway, if the NYR method works for you---more power to ya.
For about two months now, I have been formulating my new brain child-  
12 [in] 2012. I first got the idea from my book, The Happiness Project. Smaller, "stepping stone" goals that are more attainable are proven to be more successful. I have been drafting, redrafting, finalizing, and refinalizing my goals. To be honest, they will probably change. The important thing is progress.
I welcome January with my first "spiritual" goal of the year:

 
I wish you all the best in your goals for this year! Happy 2012!

Fasting

"Fasting, coupled with mighty prayer, is powerful. It can fill our minds with the revelations of the Spirit. It can strengthen us against times of temptation. Fasting and prayer can help develop within us courage and confidence. They can strengthen our character and build self-restraint and discipline. Often when we fast, our righteous prayers and petitions have greater power. Testimonies grow. We mature spiritually and emotionally sanctify our souls. Each time we fast, we gain a little more control over our worldly appetites and passions...Fasting in the proper spirit and in the Lord's way will energize us spiritually. It will strengthen our self-discipline, fill our homes with peace, lighten our hearts with joy, fortify us against temptation, prepare us for times of adversity, and open the windows of heaven."
-Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin

I am not a huge fan of fasting...it is really hard for me. I get headaches and am really grumpy. But, reading that quote helps me to have the desire to fast the right way in order to receive the blessings that come from it. Happy Fast Sunday!

Attitude of Gratitude

I know I'm a little late, jumping on the Thanksgiving/gratitude train...but the truth is, I've been too busy enjoying myself to blog about what has been going so great in my life.

"If you only had the things today that you thanked Heavenly Father for yesterday...What would you have?" 

That came from Sacrament meeting on Sunday. I always enjoy going to church in Utah with my family ward; nothing beats the Grove Creek 1st ward!
Over the summer, I tried to write 3 things every day that I am grateful for. I did really well then, but it has been really sporadic lately. I really want to relight the fire I used to had. I was more positive and optimistic when I was constantly looking for something to be grateful for....even in less-than-desirable situations. I found this gem on pinterest:

Isn't that completely darling? Now, I don't think I want a completely separate book for my "gratitudes" but I like the idea of counting up to 365 and organizing by month. So I'm working on adapting something similar into my journal. I hope everyone had a great holiday. Lets hang in there until Christmas fellow college students!

Word to the Wiser Than Me

So, as you know I've been working towards a goal of being healthier. The thing is, right before I made this goal, my darling husband filled our refrigerator with my favorite frozen pizza's (they were on sale for $1 each). I avoided them (for the most part) for a couple of weeks, but I eventually broke down one afternoon and decided to have one for lunch. I looked at the nutrition facts and saw that there were only 370 calories, and 180 fat calories. In my opinion, I thought that was pretty good for a whole pizza. So I ate one, and enjoyed it. I continued to eat one for lunch about every other day.

Last night, I was telling Chris about my discovery and about how happy I was to have something "good" to eat that wasn't killing my calorie count. "There's no way," he said and opened the freezer and took out one to read the back. "There's 370 calories per serving," he said "There are 2 servings in this one pizza."
My heart sank. My lunch time indulgence was too good to be true.
Read the label thoroughly before you get too excited. Like my mother always said, "If it's too good to be true, it usually is."

Media Management

Well, my Media Management Unit in Family Foundations has come to a close. I thought you might be interested in the final result. I am proud to say that I have not logged into Facebook since October 26. I'm not particularly proud of the rest of the results, but I will definitely learn from them. Here is the finally tally of my media use in the last two weeks:

So...In the last two weeks I spent 42.1 hours watching TV or movies. That's a part-time job. Yikes. The thing is, 12.1 hours of TV is about 52 minutes a day- which equals one episode of a TV show. In the last two weeks I watched 8 movies. To me, that doesn't seem like an insane or unreasonable amount, but when you look at the actual number of hours it seems a whole lot worse. 42.1 hours is 8% of 14 days. Now I see that there is no excuse for me not to go to the gym, not go to the temple, not read my scriptures, not write in my journal...etc.

I also wanted to include a few quotes from my paper I submitted. I will keep it short so I don't lose you. :)

"I was the most surprised with how much I didn’t miss Facebook. Its amazing how something that was a part of my daily life really didn’t matter. I didn’t feel disconnected from my friends or family. I wasn’t dying to know what was going on in random "friends" lives. I was more productive and on my computer a lot less. I also found that I would be inclined to want to check my Facebook at school, usually during class. What a waste. I’m paying to be here and to get an education; no class is too boring or seemingly “unimportant” that Facebook should take precedence."

In closing...

"I plan to continue monitoring and minimizing unnecessary media use. I have too many things I want to do and more important things to do with my time. I have things I want to accomplish in my life; sitting on the couch fulfills none of them. I think if I can continue to improve, this “plan” will help me be better in all aspects of my life. I will get more done- helping me to achieve more goals. I will have real relationships that will develop and grow; relationships that exist and thrive on real communication, not cyber communication....I won’t be too caught up in that show or the “he said, she said” that goes on in the Facebook world."


OK, maybe not as short as I originally thought....I have a lot to say, I guess. Now, get off your computer and go read a book or something. :)

Cancer of the Mind

 "Pornographic or erotic stories and pictures are worse than filthy or polluted food. The body has defenses to rid itself of unwholesome food. With a few fatal exceptions, bad food will only make you sick but do no permanent harm. In contrast, a person who feasts upon filthy stories or pornographic or erotic pictures and literature records them in this marvelous retrieval system we call a brain. The brain won't vomit back filth. Once recorded, it will always remain subject to recall, flashing its perverted images across your mind and drawing you away from the wholesome things in life."
It seems to me that, lately, I have heard a lot of depressing pornography statistics. Did you know that 82% of college age men admitted to viewing pornography regularly (that's admitted...). In a BYU-Idaho study 62% of male students admitted to having/had pornography problems. Those odds are terrible! Ladies- we are not immune! 32% of college age women admitted having a pornography problem. This epidemic is growing on all planes. No one is immune.
Pornography is such a scary thing. It is terrifyingly accessible and literally impossible to avoid-- even unintentional contact.
For an assignment in my Family Foundations class we were asked to read several talks regarding the issue. The most influential talk (for me) was Pornography given by Elder Dallin H. Oaks in the April 2005 General conference. I received a lot of comfort from this talk and thought I'd share. I hope that you can find some hope in Elder Oaks' words like I did.
The body/mind analogy can be somewhat depressing, but I saw it as a defense mechanism. The first step to protection is prevention. I take comfort in knowing that I can prevent pornography by staying away from all filth, not just that found on the internet. I know I can improve in the areas of the music I listen to, the movies and TV I watch, and the media I read. Elder Oaks says "the test of what is evil is not the degree but its effect." By eliminating the "smaller" evils in life, the "bigger" ones become less of an issue.
My biggest source of comfort came from this statement; "an endowed priesthood bearer's fall into pornography never occurs during periods of regular worship in the temple; it happens when he has become casual in his temple worship." What a great promise! As long as we are renewing our covenants and diligently attending the temple...we cannot fall into pornography. No wonder we have been counseled to have a photo of the temple in every room. The spirit will make us strong and we will be able to resist temptation and our Heavenly Father will bless us.

That's enough from me! I hope that someone, somewhere will benefit from reading this and that we can all protect ourselves from this cancerous addiction.

Effective Prayer

We had a lesson in Book of Mormon about effective prayer. I think a topic like this is such a great refresher. I can definitely improve the sincerity and the overall quality of my prayers. Our teacher made a list of 24 scriptures for us to look up that would teach us about effective prayer. The lesson hit me so hard, so I jotted down the list and typed it up.

{for those of you interested in reading them}

I'm working on marking all of them in my scriptures. Its been a really good experience for me.

Happy Weekend!