just another post about the new year

One thing that I learned in the last last year was that the mentality of New Year Resolutions is a set-up for failure: the idea that you set goals only at the first of the year is bogus. 

Last year, I set all my goals on January 1-one for each month of the year. It seemed reasonable, even attainable, however, I didn't anticipate the changes that would occur within me over time. When March rolled around the goals that had seemed perfect for me seemed irrelevant and, with that, my resolutions were out the window. 

When fall semester started, I realized what had happened and tried something new: each Sunday I would sit down and set one or two weekly goals (relating to my larger long term goals). I checked in throughout the week to ensure progress and to make sure I was on track. I had more success with this method in the last 4 months than I have in 15+ years of resolutions. With my week-by-week system, my goals were able to evolve with me.

With that being said...

I believe in having big dreams and, with them, big goals.

I love new beginnings and clean slates.

I hope that I am not coming across preachy or self-righteous, that is not my intent. I just wish that I would have figured this out sooner, and to be honest, I am proud of my little system. 

I wish everyone the best of luck in their New Year's endeavors! Let's make 2013 a year to remember!

$$$$

It feels like I've been on the phone all morning. I had to call Amazon about a "mystery charge" and then I called Victoria's Secret because they never paid me for Black Friday-a day of hell I refuse not to get paid for.

Being here, I see my little brothers and how much fun being a kid is. They don't have to check bank accounts, mystery charges don't exist, and there is no such thing as bills. I am sad that I didn't appreciate adolescence and wanted so badly to be an adult. That word is ugly to me now, poisoned by responsibility. The worst part is there is just more adult to come: mortgage payments, health insurance, saving for retirement....

Oh dear. Why is it our nature to wish away the stage of life we are in, thinking the next is bigger and better? Why do we always want what we don't have?

Luckily, there is a great sense of accomplishment that comes with being an adult- when the numbers line up and the bills get paid. Independence is invigorating. Loved ones make it all worth it.

In the end, the mystery charge is solved,

you (hopefully) get paid for the work you do,

and you try your best to enjoy the journey.



Home for the Holidays

Here I am, on my old stomping grounds in Pleasant Grove, Utah. I will get to be here for a little over 2 weeks. I haven't spent that much time in the 801 since I got married!

But...It is a little bittersweet being here without my better half. Chris works retail. Time off does not exist during the holidays for those who work in the mall. Luckily, he does have Christmas Eve & Day off, so that is when I get to see him next. I am so grateful that he was willing to bring me down here so I wouldn't spend the majority of my Christmas break sitting at home alone watching way too much TV. 

Good news! My sister-in-law Elizabeth is home from her mission. Its crazy! She is the reason Chris and I are together and she left 2 weeks before we got married. I am exited for her to be around in our new married existence. Mostly, I just love her a whole lot and am super excited for her to be home. I'm sure there are many good times to come. All men interested in dating/marring her must go through me now and may contact me via this blog. :)

At the MTC with Elizabeth, July 2011

 In other news, I find the snow falling in the valley to be quite lovely. 

Unlikely Gratitude

I'm grateful I didn't get enough sleep last night...

...because I stayed up too late hanging out with my husband.

I'm grateful that my legs are really, really sore...

...because I got a really good workout in last night.

I'm grateful that I'm stressed out of my mind...

...because I get to go to school and get an education.

I'm grateful for finals...

...because the feeling of accomplishment is the best.

 

Then&Now

Yesterday I was writing in my journal and I started thinking about where Chris and I were this time last year. It was amazing to me how far we have come! I just wanted to share two things that have improved in the last year.

-In late November, I hit my heaviest weight. I had no self-esteem and no motivation to fix it. I remember only wanting to wear yoga pants and a big sweatshirt and wearing that as much as I could get away with it. I would never go to the gym on my own...Chris would have to drag me with him. Even if he got me there, I didn't really work out. I'd walk on the treadmill and pretend to do some crunches or something, and then go bug Chris about 30 minutes later to leave. I wanted big changes, but I wasn't willing to do any sort of real work to make it happen.

Now, the number on the scale hasn't gone down as drastically as I would like, but my attitude is 100% different. I prefer to go to the gym on my own, for some reason, that's when I can work the hardest. I have fitness goals that I am actually working towards. I asked for workout clothes for my birthday and for Christmas. I'm not looking for a quick fix, I want a lifestyle change!

-Chris and I were unemployed for our 1st semester married. It was rough. I remember that we decided that we wouldn't really exchange gifts, get a tree, or do anything that would cost extra money for Christmas. I am grateful that we went through that. It helps us to be grateful for our jobs and our complete financial independence.  

We now own both our cars and pay for our own insurance. We pay for my cell phone. We both have jobs we really enjoy. We are able to save money! I am really looking forward to giving the gifts I have planned for Chris!

It is fun to look back and see big changes and improvements. It is good motivation for me to have 2013 be a more drastic difference than 2012 is. 

A sigh of relief

Guys. A one million ton weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
For the past month I have been working on my final for an English course. We had to write a big research paper and give a presentation on our findings. I chose to argue the benefits of natural childbirth against all of the hospital interventions that happen...all of this applying to normal, low risk pregnancies.
Know this, I'm not a technology or medicine hater....I know that technology saves lives and that we are lucky to have it. However, I feel like our perception of childbirth has become really, really skewed.
Anyway, I was super nervous to give my presentation. My class is full of people who are too smart for their own good and who love to argue and create confrontation. I wasn't sure how my views would be received; there were mothers/fathers and college boys in the class for crying out loud! I've been stressing for two weeks, just wanting it to be over.
So this morning, I got up at 5 and exercised and then spent the remaining 2 hours until my class getting ready, stressing, tweaking my presentation, stressing....
Finally, I give my presentation. I remembered everything I wanted to say and it went fairly well. At the end of my presentation the professor asked the class if there were any questions or comments for me--and 75% of the class raised their hand.
Long story short, everybody was super positive about my presentation and most of my questions were people who wanted to know more or wanted to know my thoughts on similar subjects. One guy from my class even asked for my presentation so he could learn more (he and his wife are trying to get pregnant).
I am so glad that it went well and that, for the next two weeks, I get to sit and relax through the rest of the presentations.
Here is a clip from my presentation that got a lot of feedback, if you're interested:

Climb Away

"If you are on the right path, it will always be uphill."

This makes me feel like less of a wuss when I curl up in a ball and cry when I get home from school. 

"Act, and I will strengthen you. Speak, and I will make your words strong. Awake and study, and I will inspire you."

Thanks to my Stats professor who gave us this awesome (busywork) assignment. Read the talk here.